The Sword of the Lord....

An examination of ones self is always difficult. We usually want to ignore the things that need paid attention to that are hindering us. They can be painful revelations. I have found myself there. In need of some "spiritual surgery". A call to take up the sword of the Lord and go to work. The sword of the Lord...conjures up a thought of battle, huh? I guess that fits too but I need it to cut away the things that bind me to sinful ways. I need it in excising those who are stumbling blocks in my walk. I need it to seperate me from what I want so I can get to what I need. It's righteous blade is the only tool precise enough to do the job. Surgery can be painful but the healing depends on it. The "great physician" needs to pay me a house call. It is painful to realize that you are at an impass where some people and things have become like a growth that is feeding off of you and draining you. Making you unhealthy. Poisoning you. The closer the relationship, the deeper the cut. The more attached and dependent you are on something,the bigger the scar. My desire to be what God wants me to be requires that I take up that sword. Regardless of how painful it can or will be. Am I courageous enough to use it? What is more valuable to me, these things or Him? What am I willing to remove to let that happen? What has become a blockage to having the relationship I desire? I pray I have the discernment it requires. (Hebrews 12:1) ~ "one of the sheep"

Draw Near

I am sometimes surprised how difficult it is for some people to "get" prayer. It is one of the most essential parts of your relationship with God. I guess that is what gets some stumbling.Because it is God you can feel as if there is a different way you have to communicate to Him. Like only certain words or postures are acceptable. Yes, we should have reverence when we approach Him but some times, there are no words. It is just a tear, a groan, even a song. I may be the odd one here...lol...but I talk to Him just as I would anyone. I don't pray in "King James" style. :) He knows me and that wouldn't be what He expects from me. See, ya can't fool Him. Eloquent words are wonderful but He doesn't want to hear what you think you should say, He wants to hear what you need to say. No other relationship in your life can be more real, more intimate or more trustworthy than the one you can have with Him! All your secrets? He already knows about those and He loves you regardless. All your faults? Yup, He accepts you despite those too. He doesn't care what label is on your clothes, what tax bracket you are in, what you drive or where you live. He wants you - the real you. Quite possibly the you no one has ever seen. How do you communicate with Him? Do you? There is a big difference between uttering a prayer and actually praying, communicating. You don't have to be at an alter, you don't even have to kneel! If He was sitting in the room with you where you could look over at Him and talk, what would you say? Try prayer that way. Draw near. It is impossible to have a relationship with anyone when you do not communicate. God is not an exception to this. Talk to him. Right where you are. He is always listening and your talks with Him are always confidential :) Draw near. "Prayer is the burden of a sigh, the falling of a tear, the upward glancing of the eye when none, but God is near" ~ Montgomery 1840

Pssh...Friday 13th, I ain't scared!

The only superstition I like is the Stevie Wonder song! Lol I know there are many kinds of superstitions out there , of course today's date, Friday the thirteenth Is one of them. I can only speak for myself here....but I have experienced bad things in my life and none of them were on Friday the 13th. I would like to think a date on a calendar was not that powerful. I also know that there is someone much more powerful than a superstition could ever be :) So, no...I ain't scared It is a good thing too, as this year will have three of these days. So, if you are someone freaked out about this date...come visit with me sometime I would love to share with you the answer to your fears. :) ~ "one of the sheep"

Life's seasons

Winter seems to be arriving after a string of unseasonably warm January days. The wind is sharp, strong and stings against my bare face. Taking my breath with it. It is that time of year when the gray sky seems to be the only color against the bare trees. Life sometimes finds you in a season like this. Ever been there? Like your heart and soul are hard,cold,lifeless. It is in times such as that when the smallest ray of light breaks through with hope. In our winter, we look for that ray of light that we take for granted in our Springtime. We cling to the smallest sign of it. It is for this reason , I feel, that God allows our winters. Our focal point becomes so precise and we are so hungry for life that He is all we want. We seek Him so fervently and eagerly that we refuse to look towards anything else. We talk to Him more frequently, more passionately and more honestly than at any other time. I do not know what has found you in a winter. Death, divorce, financial problems, illness. I do know, however,that when everything else seems to no longer make sense, there is still one constant. I also know that seasons are for just a time and are made to change. I pray that if you are facing winter, that you are able to use it for a time of close communion with God and a time of growth in your walk. Search that gray sky the situation has cast on your horizon for the ray of light. It is still there,behind the clouds perhaps, but it is there nonetheless. Let the quiet of the winter allow you to converse with Him loud and clear. It may be a time of more growth than you ever thought was possible in the harsh winds blowing all around you. Come springtime, the strength and fruits you can show were quite likely planted in the hardness of a winters ground work. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) ~ "One of the sheep"

Week 1 is in the bag

The first week of the new year is now history. Kinda weird to think about how fast that has gone by huh? If you made a New Years resolution, how are you doing with that? I am choosing to challenge myself and stay out of the rut we can get into in our lives. You know the one...chicken on Sunday, meatloaf on Monday,and so on... Go to work and come home to watch the same same TV shows week after week. Some routine is great and offers sanity but too much and your life seems stale. So, as of today, I have already began to stretch myself, step out and try a challenge. Corrie and I are getting our radio show together a little better each time. It is called Moments of Grace and runs on weekdays from noon to three on KFEX. I do not know if anyone listens other than DJ. (LOL) he said he listens and I think he is keeping his eye and ears on us girls to make sure we don't steal any of his thunder! Hahahahahahaha , just teasin DJ. :) Anyway, if you have listened I hope you enjoyed it. I pray it has been a blessing in some small way. I have already been blessed by the friendship with Corrie and this commitment we have made to the ministry. Please keep us in your prayers as we make ourselves available to what God desires of us. ~ <3 in Christ, "One of the Sheep"

Back into life

Well here it is, 2012. All the holiday plans are done and history. As I sit here writing this my mind is focusing on my return to work tomorrow and the end to the vacation I have been on. I wish I could say I managed to get a lot of things done while I was off, but I managed to rest more than anything else. Now I wish I had a couple of these days back to be productive. I have equal parts or dread and resolve about facing the back to work reality. I feel blessed to be employed yet wish I had more time to be home. My year has started off very full and busy with doing a radio program and volunteer work with youth. It is rewarding, challenging, scary and sometimes taxing when adding the rest of life in the mix. Tomorrow, I will begin the balancing act of it all. Home,job and volunteer work. Each one is an important facet in my life and I feel a responsibility to each one. I am hopeful that I can juggle it all and make the difference I desire to make. So...here is to the stepping back into life. I am doing so with goals to inspire others and give back something. To be able to say....I was here.

New Year - New You

Christmas 2011 is now in the history books.
The new focus is now on the new year 2012.
It seems as though every tv ad, magazine article and discussion is full of talk about resolutions. Diets, relationships, careers and on and on.
We look to outward results when it is an internal problem.
We all get stuck in a rut and begin to feel like we are sitting by watching our lives pass us instead of living in it.
Well, last year I decided I was going to step out of that rut, that comfortable box that was my lifestyle.
I have a good life, don't misunderstand. I just knew that there was more and I was needing to stretch myself and make a goal for a change.
I had always wanted to be in a play.
I am a somewhat of a shy person (yes, really, I am) and I fight that insecurity often.
That self doubt and fear keeps me on the bench of life sometimes instead of out there on the field.
Well, back to that challenge I made.
I read about a play and tryouts that were being held at a local community playhouse.
I made that my challenge. To step out of my comfort zone and go to try outs.
I thought, hey, what is the worse thing that can happen anyway?
I may get a part as "girl #1" and that was the extent of what I expected to achieve.
I mean, hey, I didn't even know if I would be any good at this stuff. I was just a person with a vivid imagination that thought being in a play sounded like fun!
I went to the tryout and came very close to walking right back out that door before signup.
That voice of doubt was screaming out how foolish I was to be there and do this.
How embarrassed I was going to be when they laughed at my attempts.
Well, with shaking steps and hands, I signed up for the try out.
I fought off the feelings that I was going to pass out or vomit or both!!! Lol.
I tried out.
That alone was such an accomplishment and I left there feeling a small victory for doing it and without expecting to be selected when the decisions were made for the cast.
Two days passed and I received a call that I was chosen to play a part (actually two!) in the play. My characters even had names and lines! :)
Now that voice of doubt really reared up once again and I thought, wow, now what have I gotten myself into! You will never be able to do this it said, as it tempted me with thoughts of freezing up on stage or fainting.
Well, I am happy to say that neither one of those happened and I ended up discovering a whole new part of myself and a passion was born that resulted in me being in two more plays after that first one. The acting bug bit me and I was never going to be the same!
I met some great new friends and gained a lil confidence too. I also felt awakened and alive in a new way.
Yes, that doubting voice still taunts me, but it isn't as loud and the enjoyment I experienced outweighs those fears of failure. Trying out was worth the risk.
I have heard it said that doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
What kind of results are you seeking in your life?
Are you ready to stop the insanity?
Let me be the first person to wish you a Happy New Year. A New You year.
I want to challenge anyone ready this blog to pass up the same old resolution kind of mind set.
Make a goal.
Step out of that box and get off that bench in your life.
What have you got to lose anyway?
I am pretty sure you have a lot more to gain than to lose.
If you take me up on that challenge, I would love to hear what you are challenged to do.
I will be your first cheerleader in that and will pray for you while you go for it!
As ever, I am not perfect...I am simply "one of the sheep" <3